# Can I tame my male baby betta?



## taiwwa (May 6, 2012)

I put 2 betta fish in a 10 gallon tank.

Now, before you get angry, they are both babies so they can't really hurt each other that much. It is heavily planted and there are plenty of hiding spaces.

I quickly deduced that one was male and the other female.

The male always chases the female around. Generally the female is smaller and quicker so she can get away. I am hoping that they might learn to live together as they mature. To start off, the male isn't as aggressive towards the female as he had been. He still attacks her, but sometimes he lets her follow him around. 

Both have really grown in the week since I got them. Their fins are longer and their colors are a lot brighter.

But he's still chasing after her. I'll have another tank finished cycling within a week, and I'll probably remove him and put him in there. 

Still, could it be done? Can bettas learn to live with another betta? Or will he always chase her around?


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## wendyjo (Feb 20, 2009)

There is a good chance that eventually one will kill the other if they are kept together.


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## babyboyblue (Dec 12, 2011)

They will do fine.... for a little bit... then one will get caught by the other and then you will have to separate them completely... unless one of them died from getting attacked repeatedly while you were at work/school.

Get a tank divider, so that each will have 5 gallon of space.

That's how I have my 10 gallon tank with 2 Bettas.


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## Diana (Jan 14, 2010)

They have not learned to live together in the streams and ponds in the wild which are a LOT bigger than your tank. 
In nature they DO NOT live together, except long enough to mate, then the male chases away the female. That is the way that things work for them. 

To 'train' them to live together you are fighting genetics. If you want Bettas that live together get busy breeding them and maybe in several dozen generations you might have some that get along better.


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## sapphoqueen (Feb 9, 2010)

one will suffer later on  my case too


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## LB79 (Nov 18, 2011)

Yeah, they're like that. Males are territorial at one point and then they decide it's time to breed and they harass the female to the end of the line and beyond. I'd use this as a great excuse to get another tank...


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## mistergreen (Dec 9, 2006)

If they are both sisters, it's possible. Any other combo will end up in disaster. It's possible for a girl to harass a male as well.


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## taiwwa (May 6, 2012)

I'm pretty sure one is male and the other is female.

The male will attack platy fry on sight. the female leaves them alone.

Another thing to consider is that my platy pair used to have the male chase the female around like crazy for the first 2 weeks or so, but they've mellowed since then. 

I saw something weird recently: the male seemed to be "playing" with the female, slowly swimming through the water and letting her follow him for a while. Then he turned around and chased her around the aquarium.


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## @[email protected] (Oct 24, 2007)

there have been instances where the male and female coexist in the same tank without issues. the latest instance i heard of was a male and female were put together to breed, but the male seemed more passive than is common, and the female was an alpha. after an initial stand off, the two did not interact, but just ignored one another. after a few weeks of no breeding nor aggression the two were moved into a smaller tank, and did fine (still are to my knowledge). 
such instances are rare though. dont count on it working. if you are going to try, keep a tank to move the male into the moment you see excessive damage.


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## wendyjo (Feb 20, 2009)

I'm not sure why you would want to risk it?


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## CatB (Jan 29, 2012)

no. bad idea. first of all, male bettas shouldn't really be in community tanks at all, especially not ones that are liable to chase/nip like yours is. and then the two bettas, like others have mentioned, are quite liable to keep fighting until one dies. if they grow up and decide to mate, it's not uncommon that the male kills the female while squeezing eggs out, or kills her when she decides not to respond to his advances. i'd split them up, not just in the same tank, but take them out or the platy fry out altogether IMHO. 

fish aren't very smart, even the smartest can't match something as simple as say...a hamster. they're not going to be "tamed."


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## taiwwa (May 6, 2012)

Yeah, looks like. Still...people have stories about teaching bettas to do tricks, so I thought that they might be more intelligent than your average pet fish. 

It's kinda funny, but if the room's light is out and the tank light is on, the betta basically flares at his reflection and shows off his fins.

It also appears on close inspection that he has a number of scars on the top of his body, I presume from crashing into so many plants while chasing other members of the tank.


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## taiwwa (May 6, 2012)

Yikes, it appears that things are worse for the male than the female.

The female gets away from the male pretty easily it seems and isn't too bothered by the experience.

The male OTOH has a red bruise across his entire upper body, I'm assuming from crashing into so much plant like while chasing another fish.


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## CatB (Jan 29, 2012)

taiwwa said:


> Yikes, it appears that things are worse for the male than the female.
> 
> The female gets away from the male pretty easily it seems and isn't too bothered by the experience.
> 
> The male OTOH has a red bruise across his entire upper body, I'm assuming from crashing into so much plant like while chasing another fish.


put them into separate tanks, as big as you can manage. 1 gallon should be the minimum, heat them if you can. filtering or at least bi-weekly 50% + water changes are a must for tanks that small. and add plants to absorb waste, or filter them. really. do it unless you want to kill these fish.


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## taiwwa (May 6, 2012)

CatB said:


> put them into separate tanks, as big as you can manage. 1 gallon should be the minimum, heat them if you can. filtering or at least bi-weekly 50% + water changes are a must for tanks that small. and add plants to absorb waste, or filter them. really. do it unless you want to kill these fish.


I have a 25 gal which is very close to finishing cycling. He'll be going in there soon.


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## CatB (Jan 29, 2012)

taiwwa said:


> I have a 25 gal which is very close to finishing cycling. He'll be going in there soon.


good.


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## Diana (Jan 14, 2010)

Some male Bettas cannot be kept with any other fish, they just attack everything with fins. 
Some are OK in a community tank where they can stake out their territory and no one bothers them. Do not mix with any other Anabantoid (Gourami, Paradise Fish, Betta) or any other fish that is similar shape. It happens to Platies often enough that I have seen more than one post: The Platies are similar enough body shape and size that Bettas do not get along with them. 

For some male Bettas the only way to keep them is as a single fish in a tank.


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## taiwwa (May 6, 2012)

wow! he's gotten a lot bigger these past few days and is now chasing the platys around!


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## AlbisRock (Apr 12, 2012)

CatB said:


> no. bad idea. first of all, male bettas shouldn't really be in community tanks at all


All my betta splendens are in community tanks, just not with other betta or nippy fish. They do just fine. I even have shrimp in the tanks. They rarely pay any attention to the other fish (CPS, kuhli loaches, pygmy corys, and scarlet badis).


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## ducky14523 (Aug 29, 2011)

if a male betta has never been jarred, then they wont fight to the death and exist like more aggressive paradise fish and you'd need like five and at least 55 gallons. but seeing how even gentle sparring is likely to damage pretty fins they'd never look good. ever notice how two bettas kept side by side eventually stop flaring at one another or least stop charging the glass? same theory.


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## Kehy (Feb 5, 2012)

I had a red male that was so aggressive, I literally could not keep anything with him, including delicate plants. I had to let the walls of the tank get green along with the heater and thermometer- if anything was reflective, he would attack it until his fins ripped. Unfortunately I could do anything about the filter and he would attack that as well, also injuring himself.

I also had another very very relaxed male betta that used to be in the same tank, and I was able to keep shrimp and even a male endler with him (a rescue fish). Frankly, it depends on the fish what they will and won't tolerate.


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## Bahugo (Apr 18, 2011)

I had two baby siblings from a betta breeder out here that I had growing out in the same tank. They had plenty of room, plenty of plant cover, were fed normally. One day the one killed the other viciously and started tearing everything apart in the tank.


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## josolanes (Feb 28, 2012)

I know mine's a bit difference seeing as how mine is a female betta but my female betta, while playful (she loves coming to the glass when I'm around) is very passive. I have about a dozen platies, a few cory cats, some ghost shrimp, and snails with her in a 20H. There are never fights and it seems the platies, while very hyper, know when to move when the betta is around. She's never attacked one and none have been injured but, even with food, they'll move away from her if she's going for a certain pellet/flake


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## Diana (Jan 14, 2010)

Most female Bettas are a lot calmer than the males, not territorial or aggressive. 
They can often be kept several in a tank, and with a wide range of other species. 
Every once in a while you will get a female that is more aggressive and must be kept separate. 

The stories posted by Kehy and Bahugo are typical: Male Bettas have a very wide range of personality, but the best way to handle them is to not put them with any fish that they are known to fight with, then watch the situation in case you have one of those super aggressive ones. Many work well in a community tank with carefully chosen tank mates. Some do not. 

I occasionally see posts of people with larger tanks (4' long, any gallons) that have more than one Betta. These larger tanks seem to have the space the Bettas need. Then tall plants, driftwood or other markers so the male Bettas can claim their territory. Mixing male and female Bettas in a larger tank can work, too, because the female has room to get away from his territory. That is how they work things out in nature: She enters his territory only to breed, then leaves.


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## taiwwa (May 6, 2012)

Female bettas are underrated.

Compared to like, tetras or platy's they're so much more interesting to watch go around because their little bodies can bend so much and you see them peeking at places before deciding to swim there.

My male betta seems to be getting used to the female betta. He usually chases her, but sometimes he just flares at her and then swims away and lets her chase him. I recently moved a platy from this tank to the other. What a pain! it's hard moving a net around a heavily planted tank


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## josolanes (Feb 28, 2012)

^ I agree, I really like my female betta. I've had her the longest now and still consider this "her" tank. She has quite a personality and has been through a few setups with me now

And you're right, it's pretty fun watching her peek before going somewhere and they are very flexible. I also like seeing her randomly just go to sleep. I have some driftwood with christmas moss at the top of it on a split that's been growing out and I see her regularly swim around quite a bit then seemingly sleep right inside/under the moss, completely motionless kind of hiding there. She's also the only fish in my tank that actively tries to bite me if I put my hand too close to the surface of the water for too long lol


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## taiwwa (May 6, 2012)

They're like dolphins


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## taiwwa (May 6, 2012)

Okay so this is weird.

I, er, decided to get another betta. I hoped to make a "sorority" of bettas. I saw a white betta with solid black eyes and I just had to have it.

I moved the blue male to the upper tank. Then I put in the new white betta.

Red went crazy. Red attacked the newcomer far more ferociously than I had ever seen blue attack red. Like, red actually cornered the new fish and was doing this broadside attack thing. It honestly looked like Red was going to kill the white betta.

So I had to move red up to the new tank.

Blue and red are getting along great now. Blue still flares at red but he doesn't really chase red. They mingle a lot now. Who knew?


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## CatB (Jan 29, 2012)

taiwwa said:


> Okay so this is weird.
> 
> I, er, decided to get another betta. I hoped to make a "sorority" of bettas. I saw a white betta with solid black eyes and I just had to have it.
> 
> ...


wait, red and white are both females, and blue is a male?


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## Kehy (Feb 5, 2012)

taiwwa said:


> Okay so this is weird.
> 
> I, er, decided to get another betta. I hoped to make a "sorority" of bettas. I saw a white betta with solid black eyes and I just had to have it.
> 
> ...


Ah, don't do that! Red had established a territory, then you dumped in a new fish, no wonder it got attacked! If you do plan on adding a new fish when one in the tank clearly has an established territory, remove the old fish, rescape, and add both fish at the same time.


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## Calmia22 (Aug 20, 2011)

Try some non-aggressive community fish with short fins, not more bettas.


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## CatB (Jan 29, 2012)

Calmia22 said:


> Try some non-aggressive community fish with short fins, not more bettas.


or, even better...no more fish at all. bettas aren't so much community fish. yeah, it varies on a fish to fish basis, but yours sounds like a nasty one which should be left to itself.


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## taiwwa (May 6, 2012)

CatB said:


> wait, red and white are both females, and blue is a male?


I'm pretty certain blue is a male. Red I'm assuming is a female. White is uncertain the gender.


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## taiwwa (May 6, 2012)

Kehy said:


> Ah, don't do that! Red had established a territory, then you dumped in a new fish, no wonder it got attacked! If you do plan on adding a new fish when one in the tank clearly has an established territory, remove the old fish, rescape, and add both fish at the same time.


It surprised me because red was such a gentle inhabitant. Blue would chase after EVERYTHING. Red left even the small fry alone.


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## taiwwa (May 6, 2012)

CatB said:


> or, even better...no more fish at all. bettas aren't so much community fish. yeah, it varies on a fish to fish basis, but yours sounds like a nasty one which should be left to itself.


Well, in the new tank blue looks like he has mellowed.

The new tank also has a significant current compared to the old one, which might account for blue not being able to chase other fish as quickly. However, it also has far less plant cover to duck into. I was very worried about the wide openness of the tank, but it appears that blue is fine.

It also appears that red and blue have memories of each other.


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## wendyjo (Feb 20, 2009)

Why do you keep doing this? Are you a troll or what? Keep these fish separated or you are probably gonna end up with dead fish. 2 bettas together is not a sorority regardless of their gender - 2 females is not a sorority and are not gonna get along. You keep throwing fish together and causing them to stress out and fight. - why?


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## Nateinslc (Feb 22, 2012)

I have a 55 gallon tank, with lava rock and driftwood and heavily planted. I have 10 cardinal tetras, 10 celestial pearl danios, a few glo-light tetras, and one male and three female bettas. They are doing fine and have been together for four months now. In fact, the male betta prefers one of the females and they have successfully bred multiple times. They are territorial and will chase away the other females, but the male will not chase his favorite female. Maybe I just got lucky with these fish?


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## 10gallonplanted (Oct 31, 2010)

I have a male Paradise Gourami, two female paradise gourami, a male betta and a female betta in a planted 40G. They can be kept together without any problems. From what people say my tank should be hell, but nope.

The key is to add them all at the same time, and to have plenty of places where they cant see each other.


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## taiwwa (May 6, 2012)

So I'm thinking about adding a school of tetras to the tank.

I have heard though that either

1) tetras are fin nippers. Being quick little swarmers this could be a problem

2) bettas can accept already established tank mates, but not new ones like tetras.


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## Nateinslc (Feb 22, 2012)

Again, my tank might be unique, but I added my tetras after the bettas and I added my cardinal tetras after the bettas and celestial pearl danios had been in there for a couple months.


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## CatB (Jan 29, 2012)

taiwwa said:


> So I'm thinking about adding a school of tetras to the tank.
> 
> I have heard though that either
> 
> ...


i really wouldn't, considering the past aggression of your betta(s) and the fact that bettas can become really stressed by schooling fish.
i assure you, your bettas aren't lonely. they're solitary fish, even in the wild. remember, they're animals, not fashion accessories- start collecting figurines or something if you want cute things you can keep getting more of...


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## taiwwa (May 6, 2012)

Well, the male and female are in the throes of torrid teenage romance right now


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## wendyjo (Feb 20, 2009)

Have you conditioned them for breeding? Do you have food for the fry?


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## amcoffeegirl (May 26, 2009)

when i spend money on a fish the last thing i wanna do is watch it get its fins ripped up by another fish. i have 2 bettas that are each in a 5 gallon tank with filter and heater. One is male and one is female. i think your taking a great risk with these fish and that is a shame.


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## shrimpNewbie (May 6, 2011)

CatB said:


> no. bad idea. first of all, male bettas shouldn't really be in community tanks at all, especially not ones that are liable to chase/nip like yours is. and then the two bettas, like others have mentioned, are quite liable to keep fighting until one dies. if they grow up and decide to mate, it's not uncommon that the male kills the female while squeezing eggs out, or kills her when she decides not to respond to his advances. i'd split them up, not just in the same tank, but take them out or the platy fry out altogether IMHO.
> 
> fish aren't very smart, even the smartest can't match something as simple as say...a hamster. they're not going to be "tamed."


Really Bettas shouldn't be in a community tank at all? Where did you read this load? Look at my sig, my Betta is in a 25g cube with 9 rummys 2 breeding bristlenose plecos, and loads of fry, there isn't an oz of aggression unless a fish goes in his corner which they don't, people need to stop spreading the ridiculous mentality that Bettas are cold blooded killers. Something to keep in mind my fry would easily fit in his mouth I have had him for almost a year and always with other fish and saying fish aren't really smart is also narrow minded, have you done studies of this to prove it or just assumed it because of their generally tiny brains. 

Bettas are beautiful and can be in a community setting, if you look at my sig that jack Dempsey was in the same tank for 4 months, the only reason he had to go was size, no more Betta stigma please.

Also every Betta is different which goes again against your assumption fish are stupid


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## shrimpNewbie (May 6, 2011)

taiwwa said:


> So I'm thinking about adding a school of tetras to the tank.
> 
> I have heard though that either
> 
> ...


Get a bigger tank there are only a few tetras that I have had that nip and only in a small group, keeping them in a really big group is a better idea and your Betta will thank you for it but only if your tank is large enough


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## stevenjohn21 (May 23, 2012)

I setup my 125 gallon tank last year with just a male and female betta (until i decided what i wanted to stock it with) i kept a close eye on them the 1st day and they barely noticed each other. Same again the 2nd day. Within the 1st week i noticed the male had chased her away a few times but nothing nasty enough for me to pull them out. They ended up breeding and the female would mind her own business whilst the male did his daddy job of picking the eggs up (long way down in a 125 gallon lol) 
When i finally came round to stocking that tank i moved them into a 20 gallon long , 2 weeks later the female died.......moral of the story is that if your tank is large enough it can be done. But are you going to "waste" 125 gallons of water on 2 betta fish ?


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## In.a.Box (Dec 8, 2011)

Keeping betta in a group of 5+ is the key to keeping them from fighting.
You will see chasing here and there.
I start this hobby as a betta breeder/keeper. I breed them and grow them in the same tank till I sell them off or they get to big/3month. I have house 6 adult Pk in a 40B, these are not the fancy type. 

Betta will only fight if you remove them and put them back together.
Another good thing to do is have other fish in the tank, you need 1 fish to tame them so they won't fight. 

I have my black knife in my betta tank , which he/she tame them.
Once the betta know who in there with them they get scare.
Like 2 eyes watching them saying I'm the boss in this tank, no fighting or ill eat you up.

Why is it that betta atk their kind and not other?


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## stevenjohn21 (May 23, 2012)

In.a.Box said:


> Like 2 eyes watching them saying I'm the boss in this tank, no fighting or ill eat you up.


LMAO :hihi:


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## shrimpNewbie (May 6, 2011)

They naturally go After fish of greater beauty since your ghost knife is neutral and probably large it knows better, my Betta likes my other fish though he is constantly swimming with the group of tetras


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## wendyjo (Feb 20, 2009)

shrimpNewbie said:


> Really Bettas shouldn't be in a community tank at all? Where did you read this load? Look at my sig, my Betta is in a 25g cube with 9 rummys 2 breeding bristlenose plecos, and loads of fry, there isn't an oz of aggression unless a fish goes in his corner which they don't, people need to stop spreading the ridiculous mentality that Bettas are cold blooded killers. Something to keep in mind my fry would easily fit in his mouth I have had him for almost a year and always with other fish and saying fish aren't really smart is also narrow minded, have you done studies of this to prove it or just assumed it because of their generally tiny brains.
> 
> Bettas are beautiful and can be in a community setting, if you look at my sig that jack Dempsey was in the same tank for 4 months, the only reason he had to go was size, no more Betta stigma please.
> 
> Also every Betta is different which goes again against your assumption fish are stupid


"every Betta is different" - of course that is true. But IN GENERAL male bettas do not do that well with other fish, especially other bettas (both male and female) and other fish with long flowing fins. Not everyones experiences will be the same, but after many years of keeping bettas and many years of talking to other people who keep bettas I can say without a doubt that this is the general experience of the majority of betta keepers I have come across. Female bettas generally do pretty well in community tanks and can tolerate each other in proper sororities, altho they don't always work out so well either.


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## CatB (Jan 29, 2012)

wendyjo said:


> "every Betta is different" - of course that is true. But IN GENERAL male bettas do not do that well with other fish, especially other bettas (both male and female) and other fish with long flowing fins. Not everyones experiences will be the same, but after many years of keeping bettas and many years of talking to other people who keep bettas I can say without a doubt that this is the general experience of the majority of betta keepers I have come across. Female bettas generally do pretty well in community tanks and can tolerate each other in proper sororities, altho they don't always work out so well either.


basically what i was trying to say, thanks for putting it in better words.

as for what the one person said about keeping them in groups of 5+, i don't think that applies to betta splendens. more "wild" types, yeah, like macrostoma and imbellis, that works. but not the fancy bettas, or not that i've heard of. certainly not in a 5/10 gallon tank.



> fish and saying fish aren't really smart is also narrow minded, have you done studies of this to prove it or just assumed it because of their generally tiny brains.


no, i haven't studied it, but have you ever tried to trick a fish? like, cupped your hands around the glass in front of it, and it thinks it's trapped? that's pretty easy, right? that's all the study i need to do. i'm not saying they have no cognitive ability, i'm also not saying bettas aren't some of the smarter fish- because they are. but they really don't compare to mammals...which IS what i said. i said they're not geniuses, i said they don't compare to social mammals. i didn't say they didn't think, didn't feel, or weren't smart in general.
do you think a fish is as smart as you are? or as smart as a chimp? a dolphin? a dog? probably not. that's all i'm saying.


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## taiwwa (May 6, 2012)

Looks like I've tamed him.

He doesn't chase her anymore. He will flare but that's about it.

And lately, he doesn't even flare.


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## wendyjo (Feb 20, 2009)

lol


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## Beer (Feb 1, 2012)

I have managed 5 females (sisters) and a male together in a 7 gallon bow. I think there were a couple of dwarf frogs of some sort too.
The key was the females being siblings, young, and all fish were introduced at once. There was a little bit of scuffling as everybody sorted out the pecking order. And every once in a while one of the females would try to move up a rung or two by challenging a more dominant female, but nothing I saw (no battle wounds or anything) indicated any heavy fighting. Nobody challenged the male (a beautiful completely white veil tail). He was not very aggressive, which helped to keep everyone fairly peaceful.
If I were to try it again, I would definitely go with a much larger tank.

I remember reading something about keeping females in groups of 5+ to keep aggression down, or at least spread it out to the point that nobody is over stressed or actually wounded. It was most likely in a Betta book since it was back in 2000 or 2001.

You do have to introduce them into a new environment all at once, and no males together. If any of them (male or female) have had the chance to establish a territory, it is over for the new comers. Having siblings that have always been together keeps the aggression down as well. They have never had their own space to establish dominance or aggression.
You do have to keep a close eye on them for the first couple of weeks.


*Edit:* I would agree with other people's recommendations about not adding other fish to these tanks, betta or otherwise. Moving them around any more or trying to place them with other fish is going to cause aggression. If you have been luck enough to find a grouping that works, I wouldn't push it anymore. At this point any additions to the pair may see a double team attack, and the solitary one has established the tank as hers, so she will most likely act aggressively towards any newcomers.
Unfortunately after a year of having them I had to house them at my sister's, which lasted about three weeks. Apparently she was doing something horribly wrong because they would jump out of the water and stick themselves to the glass for half an hour or so to escape whatever horrible water conditions she was subjecting them to. I didn't find out until a couple months later after they were all long since dead. I have never seen a betta like that male since.


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## taiwwa (May 6, 2012)

He's back at it!

This guy is a real terror. He's also built a MASSIVE bubble nest and the female betta is again blushing. Even the larger platy is being intimidated by him.


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